Thursday, 12 June 2014

The Big House

Because I am feeling so generous today, here is the first chapter to the book "Teardrops in an Ocean" (the full thing can be found in the links below this blog's title):




1 THE BIG HOUSE

The mid May sun shone high, stark and bright; illuminating my breath while my lapels tried and failed to prevent the chill slipping down my collar like a snake’s embrace. I pulled my grey coat tighter around a black suit that I wore it straighter than I wore my head. Spinning and aching. I had no piece on me; whether that was a mistake would remain to be seen.
Ahead I could see an audacious Jacobethan mansion that had no right being occupied this side of the Civil War. It burrowed in the rolling hills like a wolf spider waiting for a fly to come near. I checked my back for wings before driving up to the front gates.
The gatehouse would have been enough of a home for a family of six but was too pristine to be wasted on people. It sat to the left of the track surrounded by a peridot lawn and adorned with emerald climbers. At the front corner a tower protruded from the roof, slightly overhanging the corner entrance. Nestled in the tower was a singular round window that caught the morning sun like a diamond in a jewellery store cabinet. Look but don’t touch.
I pulled up near a small booth affixed to the gatehouse and a uniformed man with a rifle appeared. He was quick to make sure I knew I was being watched. He was square cut and close shaved and very severe and I was probably a little unnerved by my antithesis of appearance. The quickness with which he urinated across his territory was contrasted by a lack of haste in approaching my car window. By the time he reached me and tapped on the window he’d made it clear who was the boss here. I lowered the window as slowly as possible.
“State your name and business at Fairburn Manor,” he instructed.
“Marshall,” I responded with a smile, “Here to see Mr. Headrow.”
“Marshall, is that your first name, or last?”
“No.”
“I need a name to put in the log book.”
“Then please put Marshall.”
The guard returned to his booth and started chattering into a radio. He was animated, and glanced across at me frequently, probably to make sure I didn’t start climbing the fence. He went through bouts of anger and silence, and he drew out both for an unnecessarily long time, during which I decided to light and savour a cigarette. When the guard spotted me doing so, he hurried the rest of the conversation and charged back towards me.
“You can not smoke within the grounds,” he declared. I looked calmly towards the gates and then back at the guard; he raised an eyebrow in expectation. I drew slowly on the smoke.
“You won’t be getting in at all at this rate!” he informed me.
“What is this rate?” I asked, “Because to go slower, I’d have to reverse.”
“Look smart ass…”
“My friends just call me ass.”
“Look! You’ve been cleared, and logged,” He held up the log book so I could see the entry Mr. Marshall, to see Mr. Headrow, 21st May 2030, but I ain’t opening the gates until you put that thing out.”
“Understood.”
He stood and watched, clenching his fists by his side, as I took the time to enjoy my smoke.
When it was gone, I flicked the cigarette onto the path. With his eyes still unwaveringly fixed on me, he stepped across to stub it out before marching back to his booth. He seemed to always either be marching or dawdling, there was no middle ground. He was off or on. Begrudgingly, he opened the gates at last and I gave a cheerful wave as I drove through them.

Within the fenced grounds there was everything one would expect to see within a thriving farming community. Off in the distance, looking like flakes of snow against the far woodland, I could make out the sheep. Nearer were the skittish deer, feeding on the lower branches. They trimmed the underside of the foliage to a perfectly level finish. Nearer still men and women toiled and sweated to yield cabbage, potato and many other such foods that were forgotten by much of the rest of the country. Squinting my eyes slightly my blurred view made the livestock and farm-workers seem indistinguishable.
I drove at a respectable speed, and when I reached the house a footman was waiting for me. I didn’t want to believe that such a job still existed, after all that was fought over in the war, and the subsequent poverty that beset most of this country, but there he was. He was shorter than a basketball player and only half as wide as a Bus. His trench-coat had red epaulettes and brass buttons and gave an impression somewhere between hotel concierge and SS officer. By the set of his jaw I concluded this was intentional. The coat clung to his broad shoulders despite the thick neck that tried to pry it apart. It hugged his dangerously trim figure flatteringly except around the hip. I guessed it was not a radio on his belt that he was so keen to conceal.
The house increased in menace with proximity. The chimneys and extended gables made it jagged and harsh like the spines of a reptile. I threw the footman my keys and ascended the stairs to the front entrance, acutely aware of the tooth-like balusters either side of me.
For all its weight and design, the black iron knocker thudded flatly and pointlessly on the double oak doors. The butler, who would have had to be hovering just inside the door to hear, opened the doors.
I stepped inside.

The main hall was a relic of more frivolous times, personified by a proud life-size portrait of a war hero at the top of the grand central staircase. The general’s regalia revealed a warrior who had fought in battles that had more honour and meaning than any I had seen. I had often pondered whether people would romanticise the New Civil War in the same way.
This place was already beginning to grind me down and wind me up and knowing of my imminent meeting with its owner or manager or whatever he was, I would need a little help getting through it. Once the doorman took my coat, I fumbled for the little gold case that I kept within my jacket pocket. I unclasped the little catch and it sprung open, revealing six shots, six tiny little injectors. The doorman returned from hanging my coat and spied the case in my hand for a moment before recognition crossed his face.
“I would ask you to refrain from exercising such vices on the premises,” he said. There was a slight shudder to his movements, as though his body was slowly learning to defy him with age, like a teenage child. I placed the shots back in the pocket, and ignored the hip flask outlined against his suit jacket. I nodded my head in agreement and motioned for him to lead the way.
It took the old fellow a fair old while to show me to my meeting, but eventually we echoed through the old corridors and got to the dining hall. I had expected a mirror of the refinement and vintage of the rest of the house, but I was wrong. The room was laid out as though a military mess hall, long tables accommodated an army of diners, and troughs of fried foods hugged the left hand edge of the room.
I started towards the head table.
“Marshall?” called a voice to my right. I turned to see a man in his well polished seventies. His white beard and moustache were well cut and pointed, the designs of a man who had had to reallocate some of his grooming efforts due to baldness. He looked over his thin spectacles with warm smiling eyes.
“And you are?” I asked.
“Mr. Headrow,” he responded, “at your service. Please, why don’t you join us for a little breakfast?” The men sat opposite him sidled up to make space for me.
“I already ate, thank you,” I said, still standing, “Besides, I think there are matters to discuss and perhaps a more private setting might suit them.”
Mr Headrow looked around at his companions with a gaze that should have reassured them, were it not for the hint of caution tickling the wrinkles in his smiling eyes.
“There is nothing to be said,” He explained, “that cannot be said in front of my friends here. We are like one big family.”
“That’s adorable. However, you’ve not heard what I have to say,” I explained, and the caution ebbed into a sprinkling of worry, “Words in public can not be unheard; words in private may be selected for public audience.”
There was a reluctant agreement to the man, like he had analysed the situation thoroughly and abandoned the romantic notion of kinship in light of the real family we were here to discuss. He dabbed the corners of his mouth with a handkerchief embroidered with the initials ‘W.F’.
“As you please,” he sighed.
He rose quickly and powerfully, despite his age, and gave the surrounding people his apologies. I waited silently, and then followed silently.

His office was ample and plush. Green leathers and dark woods were the theme. Like money and death, or capitalism as they’re known collectively. There were rows of identically bound leather books along the back wall. In gold leaf the titles of many classics were just readable. I laughed to myself at the sheer volume of stories in the collection that revolved around a downtrodden protagonist and the upheaval of authority. There was also a scattering of artistic sculptures, Grecian busts and British artillery. I was starting to get a picture of my client.
“You have a certain way about you Marshall,” Mr Headrow explained.
“A certain way?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“I apologise,” I said, “I am not as well read as you so all that subtext nonsense doesn’t register on my radar. If you have an opinion, I suggest you just share it.”
“Okay,” he said, “are you this confrontational with all of your clients? Or is it just me you choose to embarrass.”
“People find me an embarrassment generally, so someone of your stature I would understand to take it very hard.”
“And what stature is that?
I looked around the room as an answer.
“Do not presume,” he continued, “to think that because I run and maintain this house that I consider myself a Lord. A Lord does not dine with the servants.”
He motioned towards a seat opposite his own and I took it. The leather was kind underneath me but the arms were wooden and sloped down from the back of chair and as a consequence were, despite their prettiness, quite uncomfortable. Form over function.
“It’s a little early in the day,” he explained, “but the morning is fresh, and I require a little liquid warmth. Would you care to join me?”
He opened the top draw of his desk slightly, before leaning down to pull a bottle and a couple of glasses from the bottom draw. I accepted, despite knowing that drink was not the answer to the cold beads forming on my brow. He left the top draw open, but from my seated position I could not see its contents.
But I wasn’t stupid.
“Perhaps we could leave any prejudices at the door?” He continued, “at least for the sake of business, if not amiability.”
“I thought such vices were not to be enjoyed on the premises,” I said, taking a generous sip of the hooch. “Your doorman was kind enough to keep me informed of the house rules.”
Headrow sighed, “Poor old Harold does like to preach purity.”
“Whilst wearing a hip flask?”
“Ha, indeed,” he chuckled, “many people are more than happy to objectively criticise others rather than look inwards.” He gave me a look that said I was the target of his comment with about as much subtlety as a neon-lit fanfare.
“Well at least the flask was better concealed than your gatekeeper’s rifle. He’s a charming chap. Are you expecting someone else or was that just a warning to me to keep my hands inside the cart at all times.”
“Oh God no,” he said, “Look at this place. There are many that would see fit to try and seize it from us. Some have tried it, but they have failed. Like him or not, because of people like the gatekeeper, we have endured the many years that we have.”
As he returned the bottle to its draw, it clinking as he did so, my attention was drawn to a small canon sat upon his desk. It was a brass ornament aimed at my chest. I turned the canon to face off to the side.
 “Oh and please call me Wilson,” he continued, “I have never had need to use a Private Investigator before, but I would prefer not to be so formal about the whole affair.”
“I’m sorry to tarnish your record.”
“I don’t see it as a tarnishing.”
“You will, there’s time,” I put my empty glass down and noticed the back of my left hand was beginning to itch. I gave it a good scratch.
“You don’t seem particularly apt at trying to sell your wares,” Headrow said.
“I am who and what I am. If I pretended I was something else, that would not be good selling of wares. That would be selling different wares entirely.”
“I suppose. So what will I get?”
“Answers,” I explained, “but not only the ones you want. I will not promise to limit my talents to only finding selected answers. I bring you all that I find; it is up to you to…”
“Select the answers for public audience?”
“Exactly.”
“So what you are saying, what you are warning, in a less than modest way, is that you are too effective?”
“What I am saying is that I get hired to find out a truth, not all of them. The problem with truths is that they are like ants, you can’t stir one awake without the whole nest spilling out in all directions.”
“I see.”
You’d be amazed at the amount of business I had lost with this approach. Amazed, but probably not surprised. Mr. Headrow looked at me steadily, despite the obvious discomfort I caused him. He allowed a gentle sigh which flicked at his moustache like a cat with a ball of wool, and then smiled.
Re-aiming the brass canon at me, he got up from his chair and approached a window. He gazed out on his workers, but he was looking at the world at large. He was perplexed. People never understand the other side of the fence.
“Perhaps we should discuss your daughter now,” I said.
“Yes, yes,” he said with the tone of a teenager tasked with tidying his room.
“With disappearances,” I continued, “the speed of response can be crucial to the outcome.”
“I am sure that is true,” he said. His resigned calm had started to bother me. He picked up one of the military figurines sat in the window. I could not see well from my position but the little plastic man held a small sword and pistol and had a blue jacket with red epaulettes.
“You do not like me do you? You consider me the enemy. You assume me to be an oppressor because I value comfort, culture and history.”
“It is irrelevant. Liking you is not a pre-requisite of my job.”
“But liking my money is.” Headrow suggested, “I want you to understand I have helped people here. I have grafted and bled to build a civilised sanctuary here, a safe haven from the crooks and the thieves and the whores and the murderers that this world has permitted to fester, like the great steaming cesspit it has become since the war. You might not like what I do, but it’s easy to dismiss an open fire as indulgent before you step out into the cold night. I am and always have been driven by the need to preserve all that was once good about this country. What are your motivations, other than money?”
I pondered the deeper answers to that question before answering: “Stuff that I can buy with money. The world was on its way to becoming a cesspit long time ago, the war just stirred it up, and made the shit stink so that no one could pretend it wasn’t there anymore.”
“Well it certainly stinks now.”
“Yeah it does. And whilst you may be a saviour and a champion, I am the mercenary thug, wading in the gutter. And I charge by the day for my wading, so I think we should move things along.”
I stood up suddenly, and he span round, frightened I might attack. I reached over the desk and seized the pistol from his top draw. I noticed his hands withdraw slightly, as though he were ready to put them up.
The pistol was some sort of Webley, a service pistol from the First World War. I broke open the revolver for reloading and the extractor emptied the six bullets onto the floor. I examined the mechanics of the gun, smiled wryly to myself and then clicked the pistol back shut and placed it on the desk.
Headrow cautiously moved back to his chair, and stood behind it, as though leather would stop bullets.
It took him a couple of minutes to decide what to do next, but at least it was sensible. He collected the empty pistol, packed it away, sat down face to face, and apologised.
“It was not my intention to insult you,” he explained, “I respect what you do, and I am at your mercy. Please understand that I have fallen on peculiar times, very peculiar indeed.”
“Peculiar how?”
“Oh you need not concern yourself with that. But my daughter going missing is just a symptom.”
“Just a symptom? Such concern warms my heart. I think I’m welling up?”
“Please do not jest. I am more concerned than you can know, but I am under no false pretence that this is about her. If she has been taken, then it is more than certain a scheme to get at me. I am acutely aware that my views have a shrinking place in the modern world, and I rub people up the wrong way. Believe me, you are not the first person to take a dislike to me Marshall, I have plenty of enemies in the town of Oldport.”
“Well if you are expecting a ransom, or some other form of blackmail,” I explained, “you should just pay them, instead of me.”
“Unfortunately, not everyone in the town is as stable as to accept a fair trade. I imagine I will be exploited for whatever wealth I have. Once I and this house have been bled dry, both I and my daughter will likely come to harm regardless.”
“It’s funny,” I explained, “none of this was in the agency’s case notes. All the information I had been given was that your daughter was missing, likely in the nearby town. There was nothing mentioned about neighbours with bad blood and strong agendas.”
“It was not necessary to include such detail.”
“If you say so, but understand I am not here to sort out the politics of this town; I am just looking for the girl.”
“And that’s all I ask of you. The rest is my problem and I will deal with it, I am dealing with it. I just want my Sarah back where I can protect her.”
He began to weep, and tried to conceal it by reaching down for the bottle once more. I endured the charade. He poured himself another slug and knocked it back; it didn’t touch the sides. He poured another and then offered me one; I declined. I waited for the tears to abide before continuing.
“So has anyone tried to contact you regarding a deal?” I asked.
“No,” he whimpered, “not yet, but she only went missing last night.”
“Is there anyone in particular who might seek to harm or take her?”
“Ha,” Headrow exclaimed, “wait till you get to Oldport. Everyone there is a crook and a thief and looking for a way to exploit me.”
“What about her room? Anything in there that would indicate she had connections or intentions within the town?”
“She had a Spartan room. She liked to dream of being one of the common people. Possessions were meaningless frivolities to her.”
“Well have you any leads at all? Anywhere for me to start looking?”
“There is one thing.” He explained, “My footman seems to have had a run in with someone. It was some girl who had something of Sarah’s. That is all I know, you will have to talk to him about it. He’ll be with your car in the garage.”

I made my way to the garage. I was relieved to be able to collect my vehicle myself and avoid the needless extravagance of having it brought round for me.
The garage was a vast empty space, larger than a garden shed, but smaller than an airbus hangar. My car seemed lost amongst the five other vehicles, three trucks, a shiny black saloon and a little hatchback that looked like a personal project that would require some TLC. To my left was a little makeshift workstation-come-kiosk. There was a log book of the comings and goings of vehicles. Everything was audited and scrutinised, any time spent in this house was accompanied by a four-fold amount spent on the subsequent paperwork. Behind the kiosk, on the wall amongst the fire procedure and various contact numbers was a row of hooks. I looked amongst them and picked out my keys.
“You with the CivLib, right?” a voice behind me asked. Keys in hand, I turned slowly.
“Was,” I said, “The Civil Liberation is more of a past tense kind of thing.”
“Right,” The footman in his military concierge jacket clicked shut a shiny lighter and drew heavily on a cigarette, then offered me one. There was a dopey calm to his eyes and he examined me like a lion examines a fly that has landed on its paw. I declined the offer of a smoke.
“Your call,” he said as though humouring me, “but I’ve seen that face before, I know what it means.”
“What does it mean?”
“Well I don’t think you’ve got sweat on your brow because you’re nervous, you don’t seem the nervous type. But I’ve seen a lot of people who were in the war, and most of them had that face. There’s nothing wrong with needing something to calm your shakes.”
“I’m fine, thank you. So what’s the deal with this house, I thought we’d seen the last of these kinds of places.”
“These kinds of places?”
“You know,” I explained, “Mr Headrow likes to pretend this is just a nice location for a haven, but he’s just playing Lord.”
“He’s not playing anything.”
“So why are there so many toys in his office, so many little soldiers?”
“Mr Headrow is a supervisor, not a Lord or anything like that. The problem with you CivLib lot is that you think you won, but you didn’t reform society, you destroyed it. Now everyone has to take their bit and build it up and give it organisation so it can be worth something again. And every organisation needs a core to guide it.” He took a long draw, “Perhaps you resent this place because you are naïve enough to think that a house is defined by its bricks rather than its people. I tell you what son, you’ll miss it once you’re in Oldport, a rotten slum riddled with poverty, famine and organised crime.”
“Perhaps you are naïve enough to think that there is a difference between organised crime and business, aside from the agenda of those in charge. Maybe that’s why Headrow’s so worried about his daughter, perhaps she challenged his agenda.”
“There are unsavoury characters in Oldport that might use Sarah to get to him.”
“Still doesn’t mean she left unwillingly…”
His eyes narrowed at me, like I had just undergone metamorphosis and changed into a different form of adversary. I keep hoping that one of these days I’m going to end up a beautiful butterfly.
“Lord Headrow said something vague,” I continued, “about you coming across a lead.”
He nodded as he drew the last puff of smoke from his cigarette. Seemingly refocused, he snubbed it out on the wall and tossed it into a nearby bucket of sand.
“Some skag-head or something,” he explained, “somehow she had gotten hold of Sarah’s notebook. I’ve no idea how that happened but this little brat thought she could blackmail us for it.”
“How much did she ask for it?”
“That’s not the point.”
“How much?”
He paused for a moment and then resignedly said, “Ten quid.”
“You paid?”
“Of course not.” He exclaimed, “I don’t get my arm twisted by little runts like her just so she can get the next fix! It’s the principle.”
“Well you can explain your principles to Sarah,” I said, “after we’ve fished her out of the sea.”
The footman grabbed me with both hands and pinned me against the kiosk by my lapels. He put his face almost against mine. His eyes had lost their dopey calm and in its place was a tormented anger filled with bile.
“You two hot for each other then?” I asked. It was not the first time I had been pinned to a wall and he seemed annoyed that I wasn’t struck dumb.
“I care what happens to Sarah,” he said diplomatically. He loosened his grip slightly.
“Then you should have paid the ten,” I said, pushing him away from me, “now I’ve got to track it down and pay whatever someone decides to charge.”
“Just bill it to Headrow. He’ll pay whatever you need.”
“You assume it’ll be money I have to trade. Where can I find the girl? Did she leave an address?”
“Her kind doesn’t have addresses. They sleep wherever the night takes them.” He explained, “If I were you I would head for the old primary school. It’s like a den for skag-heads these days.”
“Thankfully for you, you are not me. The burden of independence weighs heavily,” I said, brushing my jacket off, “Thank you for your time, it has been most illuminating. I may have a few more questions in time. Do you have a name, or does Headrow just click his fingers?”
“Hector Drake,” he said, “don’t forget it.”
“How could I forget you, the man with the principles?”
He was not amused and the humourless mask did not budge the whole time I was climbing into the car and starting the engine. He stared at me with his best ever tough guy stare and I felt positively shaken. I wound the window down.
“You know,” I called out to him, “you’re not much of a doorman if you don’t get the door.”
He plodded over to the nearest garage entrance and hauled the door open by hand to demonstrate his strength. It was like he did not understand how unthreatening a perpetual and clingy need to impress can be. I tossed a coin tip onto the floor for his efforts as I drove on out.

Once I had driven my car out of the compound and a little way down towards the coast, I pulled off into some woods. The track was barely passable, but I wanted to be well out of sight, and frankly I was numb to the juddering of the vehicle beneath me.
The trees grew thick overhead, and after a few more metres turned to pines. The ground beneath me turned to a soft carpet of dead pine needles. I slowed to a stop and got out, stumbling as I did. My haze embellished the softness underfoot to the point I felt I was walking on clouds. I groped for the packet in my inner left pocket.
I observed once more the six equal sized cylinders with concealed needles ready to inject their liquid salvation. I pulled one from the line and twisted the seal. I plunged it into my shoulder and my healing was complete.
The dust and pollen floating in the light beams that broke the canopy looked as shards of tiny glass. I bathed my outstretched arm in the glow and felt imaginary warmth sear my skin. I let the glorious flame engulf my body to the point of ecstasy, as I slumped against a rotting tree on mould-ridden forest floor.
The highs were lasting shorter and shorter amounts of time and it was not long before I felt my body waking up and rejecting the drug. I rolled myself over and vomited on the ground. Wiping my lips, my eyes watering, I tried to right myself. And then the same thing happened that always happened at this point.
I saw my dead brother.
“I’ll never understand why you always make me watch this,” Jake asked me, his eyes were empty black hollows and yet they still pierced like bayonets.
“I didn’t ask you here.”
“No?” quizzed Jake, “then why do this to yourself, if not to bring me here? It doesn’t look a whole lot of fun.”
“I’m sorry Jakob.”
“I know you are.”
“Not just for bringing you here, for everything.”
“I know.”

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